What’s the recipe to a good marriage? What are the main ingredients?
If I can tell you what the secrets of a good marriage are, I would put two things at the top of the list.
LOVE GOD FIRST AND SEEK HIM FIRST
Jesus is the source for a good, strong lasting marriage.
When a couple puts God first, they allow God to be the head of the house hold.
A. Hebrews 3:4 “For every house is built by someone, but God is the builder of everything”
God is the builder of our marriages. God is the builder of our home.
Husband and wife must allow God to grow their house. By praying together and reading the word. You allow God to work on you and your spouse in the presence of God.
ex. Just like a construction worker puts together separate pieces of wood, concrete, nails, etc. to make a strong house, in that same way when a couple goes before God and prays and reads the word of God they are allowing God to take their pieces and make it into a strong home. When a couple reads the word of God together, they allow God to work on each other and mold their marriage.
B. Matthew 7:33 “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added to you”
Loving Him first, putting Him first; is the best foundation to a strong marriage.
LOVE YOUR SPOUSE AS YOU LOVE YOURSELF
Ephesians 5:28 “So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself”
Although it specifically says it for husbands; wives must also learn to love their husbands first before they love themselves. This can be shown by serving each other, forgiving each other, and listening to each other.
A. A good marriage can only stay strong if we work on it everyday.
Exercising to stay healthy and in shape takes a regular routine to accomplish. Exercising and eating right once a week is not enough to lose weight. It takes more effort.
This means serving each other everyday and forgiving one another everyday.
B. Loving your spouse before you love yourself also means self-sacrifice.
Ephesian 5:25 “Husbands love your wife, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,”
God requires us to love self-sacrificially.
Which means having the kind of love that is willing to lay down one’s life for another and serve the other even if it means suffering.
Jesus did this for us.
Agape love is a deliberate choice to love. It is selfless. It is unconditional. It is sacrificial. It is the highest type of love. Its not basing your love for them on their ‘worthiness’ or their actions.
1 Corinthian 13:4 starts “Love suffers long…”
We have grown in a society and culture that tells us to get rid of people in our lives that are difficult to get along with, whether it be our friends or our family.
BUT Paul says otherwise, ‘True love puts up with people who would be easier to give up on.
C. 1 Corinthian 13:5 “…[love] it is not self-seeking”
If we truly love the other, we will set aside our own interests, plans and agendas for the good of another.
Ephesian 5:29 – Hurting your spouse is equal to hurting yourself because you are one flesh.
Jesus sacrificed not only His body on the cross for us but His whole life was a sacrifice of love. He loved us so much that He willingly paid the price for our sins by sacrificing His life and rose back to life. He is the builder of our marriages and without Him we are limited in our love for each other. A good marriage is not just about buying flowers, cooking a good meal and noticing the little things, its also about making sacrifices, showing patience, setting aside time for each other and most importantly your creator God.
Dear God help us to remember to keep You first in our marriages and love each other even more than we love ourselves.